Things I Don’t Want To See People Do Naked by Atom

San Francisco Board of Supervisors candidate George Davis stripped buck naked in Times Square today to campaign for the right to be nude in public. Davis spoke out against a 2013 San Francisco public nudity ban introduced by his opponent, Scott Wiener. His basic argument: Nudity is a form of expression. After his speech, Davis conducted interviews stark naked. Davis ran for mayor of San Francisco in 2007 and for District 10 supervisor in 2010. He has been arrested twice for public nudity. WRONG George. There are a lot of things we don’t want to see people doing naked. I wrote down a short list.

1. Jumping Jacks. No one looks attractive doing naked jumping jacks. Not even Kate Upton. Too much flopping. It just looks silly.

2. Speaking at a funeral. Pretty disrespectful to stand in front of grandmas open casket with your thing out don’t ya think? Pretty self explanatory there.

3. Riding a bicycle. that narrow seat…just swallowed up by your butt cheeks.

4. Hiking a football. Think about the poor quarterback. Your hands are all up in there. Might as well out on a latex glove ask him to cough and check his prostate.

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