Crazy Things Parents Say

It’s inevitable….when you have small kids you realize all of the crazy things thy will come out of your mouth directed at your children. Yes, it happens to us all. No one is immune because either kids are just so clueless about the order of things and how they go in this world OR they’re just crazy, schizophrenic, bi-polar sociopathic, mini terrorists. Probably the first one. Here’s a few things I have had to say in my house. Feel free to tell me yours.

1. Stop trying to pee with your brother. We pee alone.

2. Stop asking your grandma to look at her ba-gina.

3. Get your Woody out of the toilet. (Toy Story)

4. We don’t touch people there.


5. Stop telling your brother he’s going to die.

6. Don’t touch your butt and smell your hand. (In fact, don’t touch your butt and do anything.)

7. What do you mean it smells like butthole in here? (that on JUST happened an hour ago via my 7 year old)

8. Get his foot out of your mouth.

9. I told you we don’t touch dad there.

10. Don’t scratch your butt with the toothbrush.

If I had actually been writing all of them down over the years, I’d be able to have a book.

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