Academy Award nominees that go home without a statue on Sunday night, won’t be going home empty-handed.
Losers on Oscar night will be able to numb the sting of their loss with cannibus vaporizers and vibrators and other luxuries contained in their $125,000 gift bags.
This year’s swag bag not only contains the usual extreme high-end cosmetics and skin care products (drooool!!) but also some eyebrow raising new additions:
- a three-night stay at a resort in Tuscany valued at $1,500 (I’m guessing that’s a low-end re-gifting type add-in)
- a luxury train ride through the Canadian Rockies worth more than $14,500 (great scenery!)
- Natural French Mediterranean sea salts worth $1,500 (ooh la la!)
- a custom silver necklace inscribed with the latitude and longitude coordinates of the Dolby Theater from Lat & Lo at $150 (now that’s a cool keepsake!)
- a “glamping” trip valued at $12,500 (the only way to do the outdoors!)
- a $800 gift certificate for a custom candy and dessert buffet (perfect for the celebs with the small children!)
- a $250 Haze vaporizer (puff, puff, pass Sarah Silverman!)
- a $250 Afterglow vibrator (teehee!)
- a Wellness 360 gift pack worth $1,200
- a year’s worth of all-Audi A4 car rental from Silvercar valued at $20,000 (for when the Tesla’s in the shop of course)
- a Reset Yourself lifestyle makeover package (because a multi-millionaire celebrity needs to re-evaluate their priorities??) that’s worth more than $14,200
The show-stopper in this year’s bag, according to the press release from Distinctive Assets, the bag’s creator, is a $20,000(!!) gift certificate to have Enigma Life founder Olessia Kantor fly out to meet with each nominee “to discuss their 2015 horoscope, analyze dreams and teach them mind control techniques.”
Come Monday, looks like a lot of very relaxed and smoked out actors are going to be trying to mind-control the Academy, hoping to lay the groundwork for a win in 2016.