These are in fact real dating apps. Why? We’re not really sure. Let’s explore shall we?
1. On The Rebound analyzes your Facebook friends’ dating history, and tells you the best time to ask them out based on when they’re most likely to be “on the rebound.” That’s kinda creepy isn’t it?
2. Luxy describes itself as, “Tinder, minus the poor people.” Well, that doesn’t sound snobby and horribly shallow at all now does it? It connects wealthy and beautiful people. Their clientele includes CEOs, celebrities, athletes, and doctors. If I had the money of those guys I wouldn’t need an app.
3. Carrot Dating. You literally bribe someone to go on a date with you. Users list what they’d be willing to exchange for a date, and you decide whether or not it’s worth your time. Exchange? What is it exactly you exchange? Shady business right there.
4. Revealr doesn’t let you see a picture of someone until you listen to a 20-second clip of their voice. Good luck getting guys to listen for 20 seconds. If you like it, you swipe right. Then you get a photo of them but you can’t see it until they swipe that they’re interested in you. Until then it’s pixelated.
5. Cuddlr connects you with other people looking to cuddle. You get their name and pic. You can even get cuddling reviews of people near you. That’s just sad. Very sad people.
6. InstaDo is the creepy app grand champion. There is no other creepier or more of an invitation to murder you after doing weird things to you in a creepy cave somewhere. You literally invite the person to “do it”. That’s it. I suppose you don’t even have to talk to them. You can just nod and grunt like cave men and women.