Man High On Flakka Has Sex With A Tree

A Melbourne, Florida man, high on the Flakka (a synthetic drug a lot like bath salts), told police he was God after he attacked one of them and topped it off by having sex with a tree.  See God would never…..that’s just weird. He was found naked running through a neighborhood, and doing it with a tree (however that works).

An officer responding to the call got there when the suspect appeared to be aggressively walking towards him.  He identified himself as God and that’s when the officer got the taser out.  He knew….you gotta taser him bro.  He did twice but the man continued to fight even pulling the probes out of his body!  That Flakka got you trippin’ bro! 

Brevard County Jail

Brevard County Jail

While they were struggling, he punched then attempted to stab the officer with his own badge and then decided he wasn’t God anymore he was A God.  He said he was quote “The Mighty Thor”.  Make up your mind bruh.  You can’t make this stuff up.  Looking at his mug shot, he looks completely normal.  This behavior surprises us.  Listen to the POLICE BLOTTER where the responding officers are communicating with each other.  It is hilarious!  “Uhhhhhh…..he’s naked” and “Tasers deployed” are a couple of classic lines.

STORY

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