We do “You Laugh, You Lose” every Monday around 7:20am! Due to popular request, we write down all our jokes here so you can use them later.

You wanna hear a joke about pizza? Nah, it’s too cheesy!

Why did Susan bring two pairs of pants to her golf game? In case she got a hole-in-one.

What do you call a store owned by apes? A monkey business.

What does corn say when it’s frustrated? Aw shucks.

How do you fix a broken gorilla? With a monkey wrench.

Why should a window never laugh? It might crack up.

What kind of boats do vampires like? Blood vessels.

Why did the book join the police? He wanted to work undercover!

Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.

Why did the vampire subscribe to the Houston Chronicle? He heard it had great circulation.

Why didn’t the mummy have any friends? He was too wrapped up in himself.

Why did Dracula get thrown out of the Haunted house? Because he was a pain the neck!

Why are demons and ghouls always together? Because demons are a ghouls best friend.

Why don’t skeletons ever go trick-or-treating? Because he had NO BODY to go with.

What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets!

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.


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