I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro…it’s a rip off.

How do you cut the sea in half? With a see-saw.

When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.

How did the scissors know the fastest route? It had a short cut!

What kind of pie does a ghost prefer? A boo-berry pie.

What crew mans a haunted ship? A skeleton crew.

What do you call a frog that’s illegally parked? Toad!

What happens when a kangaroo gets angry? He gets hopping mad.

Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair? She wants to rock and roll!
What do you call a flower that sounds like a dog? A Poppy.
Why did the coffee pot file a police report? It was mugged.
What did the stop light say to the other stop light? Stop watching me change.
Ate three bowls of alphabet soup earlier today. Just had the biggest vowel movement.
A jumper cable walked into a bar, the bartender said “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything!”
How do DEA agents start all their jokes? NARC NARC.
A few months ago, my friend Matt was addicted to the hokie-pokie…But luckily, he turned himself around. Now he knows what its all about.

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